066 The Invisible Touch – Caring Versus Conquering
The Third Key: Relationships
One lesson I learned a long time ago is that getting someone to do something I want him/her to do will NOT be aided by my taking out a hammer and hitting him/her over the head.
I must build rapport. The other person and I must be in sync, feeling similar things, almost breathing in rhythm with each other.
Be Ready To Step Away If Things Don't Go Well
Several times in my real estate career, where I had $247,368,657.97 in personal sales and more than $1 Billion through my marketing leadership skills, I had to be ready to push away from the negotiating table if the deal were not the best for my client.
Transactions at these tables could pay off my mortgage, allow me to buy a new car, or pay for my children education. The financial pressures could have been HUGE, but I learned to control my emotions.
But NOT ONE of them would have been helped if I took out a hammer, started screaming, telling people that they needed to get the deal done so I could be paid.
The people buying and selling couldn't have cared less about MY needs – they only cared about theirs!
And let's face it: having a feeling that I was CONQUERING either side of the negotiations instead of CARING about them and helping them… that wouldn't have helped either.
Listen To Yourself When Selling
The other night at a Meetup meeting for entrepreneurs, one of the young members (who had worked for others but was new to having his own business) expressed how difficult it was for him to sell.
He felt a great need to help his client and never wanted to force anything on him or her.
He needed to sleep at night knowing he had done the best possible for his client, so he could never be manipulative.
He couldn't negotiate a price for his fees – if someone didn't like his fee, he felt hopeless since he did not want to force himself onto his client
Whether or not this young person has a problem, he just doesn't understand sales.
He's probably had some pushy salespeople push him into a corner before and he felt ill-at-ease telling the salesperson to Stop.
But, I suggested, if you start every conversation with a client like this, it will help you immensely:
-
My Job is to find out what YOU want, and then help you get it. Period.
You are forcing NOTHING onto that person. You are LISTENING, building rapport, and then figuring out what that person needs most… and helping him/her get it.
Sales is SO much easier when approached from your being on the SAME side of the table as your client, rather than the swift-talking huckster who talks a mile a minute while singing the praises of a product he has NO idea will fit the customer.
I applaud this young business owner's ideals, but know that with a little bit of practice, he'll become very comfortable saying "My Job is to find out what YOU want, and then help you get it."
Once on THAT side of the table, he and his client will become partners and life will go MUCH more smoothly.
Best,
Charlie Seymour Jr
Blogging, Podcasting, Consulting
The Invisible Touch – A Marketing Blog Series By Charles Seymour Jr
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Charlie Seymour Jr is an entrepreneurial evangelist and marketing-success coach helping individuals and companies (up to $100MM) explode their success through online and personal-touch marketing. He specializes in blogging, podcasting, photography, video, and Facebook applications. Visit his blog at http://bit.ly/24eYTO to learn more about his successes.
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Fallacies of Marketing
066 The Invisible Touch – Caring Versus Conquering
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