092 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships

The Seventh Key: Magic Words

We each have our list of magic words that propel us in life, business, our family… hey, everywhere.

Here is my list of those important words:

Thank You

It's amazing to me how many times people forget these two words – like forgetting to signal when they turn left or right in their car: they know they SHOULD do it, but sometimes they forget… and when they forget, they get out of the habit and eventually stop doing it.

A Thank You can go a long way: here's an example that touches my heart every time I think about it.

When my younger daughter, Liz, has been in the hospital (she inherited her dad's penchant for trips to the emergency room: kidney stones and appendicitis), she always thanks the nurses. After getting her temperature taken: Thank You. After a shot: Thank You. After giving blood: Thank You.

She's not thanking for the PAIN or the inconvenience… but for the personal care that will lead to her getting well.

It hurts me to see her in the hospital. I've had SIX kidney stones, an appendicitis, a gangrenous gallbladder so I know what the inside of an emergency room likes like. It pains me to see my daughter in the hospital.

But it warms my heart to hear her say Thank You so freely. Hey, she's a great young woman… and I love her very much.

Use it: it goes a LONG way!

You're Welcome

Wait… we have to thank people for thanking us? Isn't that really what You're Welcome is?

Sort of…

But it's more than that. At the heart of things, it shows people that you care. You did something for them that elicited a Thank You and now you are showing (again) that you care.

"Oh, it was nothing…" really puts down the person saying Thank You… as if to say "there's no reason to thank me." But hey: LET them be grateful for your help and then acknowledge them for saying Thank You.

If nothing else, you will encourage them to keep saying Thank You: and what a nicer world this will be!

It's Great To See You

Have you ever greeted a friend who gave you a bear hug and showed clearly how thrilled s/he was to see you?

THAT'S what It's Great To See You can do (verbally) if it comes from your heart. Just starting off you made it clear to the person you are speaking with that s/he really means something to you… and don't we all feel better knowing that we mean something to the person we're about to spend some time with (even if it's only a few minutes in a chat)?

I have a few friends who make me feel great every time I see them. They are warm, caring, listen to me, share their ideas, are slow to ask for my help because they spend so much time sharing in my ideas and thoughts.

When you start every conversation by showing you really care about the person you're meeting with, each conversation will go better than you could have imagined.

Try it…

What Can I Do To Help You

Have you ever heard the expression "we all listen to the same radio station in our minds… not matter WHERE we are in the world, we all listen to that same station: WIIFM (What's In It For Me)."

MOST people don't really care that you didn't sleep well, the toast was burned, or the guy in front of you cut you off today as you raced to work.

MOST people care about THEMSELVES… so turn that to your advantage and ask about THEM!

Working with clients I always say, "My job is to find out what YOU want and then help you to get it." I do NOT say, as many people say (whether they know it or not), "Here's what I have to sell and you should want to buy it."

Before every Dan Kennedy – Bill Glazer local chapter meeting (GKIC-Philly), I stop at a local pizza shop. I take some work but since it's known that I will be there, friends often stop before the meeting. Maybe it's just to chat… but maybe they are working on a project and want another set of eyes. Maybe they want to chat about a marketing campaign they've started. Maybe they are wondering what new business to get into and want a sounding board.

I remember one meeting when a friend, Dan, and I were chatting with another friend, Jay. Jay brought in a sales handout he planned to use the next day at a huge conference.

The material wasn't very well-written. It was hard to figure out what he wanted people to do. We had many suggestions that piqued Jay's interest.

Jay didn't make our GKIC-Philly meeting – he went home, edited his material, and had a successful conference.

So what did I get out of that?

I helped another human being who asked for it. I sharpened my own skills by seeing Jay's work. I shared camaraderie with Jay and Dan. And in many ways, I felt like I was the biggest winner there, though it was Jay's work that improved.

When you ASK what you can do to help someone and then you DO… life's pretty great!

I'm Great

Whoa, there… maybe this needs to be explained.

This is a response after someone asks, "Hey, Charlie: how are you?" This is NOT a statement that I am better than someone else.

Here again, people don't really want to learn about what went wrong in my day… they generally ask this question because they feel it's the polite thing to do.

But when I answer "I am GREAT" they seem to come up to my level of enthusiasm (and I'm nothing if not a very enthusiastic person).

People often want to know WHY things are great. And again I think that has less to do with ME and more to do with how THEY can be at a level of GREAT too.

People are looking to be led. Some have gone as far as to say that people are walking about with their umbilical cords in their hands looking for a place to plug in: yep… they really do miss the care their mommies gave them and they want someone to help them and protect them.

These Are Some Of Mine… What Are Yours?

So… what do YOU think? What words are special to YOU?

And now – leave me a comment here to tell me what YOU feel about this!

Best,

Charlie Seymour Jr
Blogging, Podcasting, Consulting

PS: You can find me here:

http://twitter.com/UltimateWAHDads

http://facebook.com/CharlesSeymourJr

http://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesseymourjr

PPS: Do you have trouble writing? Turn Your Words Into Gold – Go Here To Learn More! NOW is the time to start.

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Keep this with this article, please:

Charlie Seymour Jr is an entrepreneurial evangelist and marketing-success coach helping individuals and companies (up to $100MM) explode their success through online and personal-touch marketing. He specializes in blogging, podcasting, photography, video, and Facebook applications. Visit his blog at http://bit.ly/24eYTO to learn more about his successes.

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Fallacies of Marketing

092 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships – Magic Words