You never forget that time you've been fired – but I HOPE you can make things easier for someone else

The Philadelphia Inquirer is probably like a lot of newspapers in the world – understaffed, losing money, trying to stay afloat.

And as it does, it features a series of articles about Being Fired. Well, that's not what THEY call it; their title is Jobs At A Loss – Upheaval in the Region's Job Market but believe me, those PEOPLE who are listed as statistics know what it is: they've been fired.

The Headline is:

The ax falls, and then what?

The article by Inquirer Staff Writer Alfred Lubrano is filled with statistics and anecdotes. And it's filled with one more thing: pain.

Human pain.

Human suffering when 13.2 million people in the USA are unemployed (that only counts those still looking for work – those who have given up don't count, it seems) and 210,000 in our immediate 8-county area.

"But while the Philadelphia region is papered with pink slips, a layout can still hit with the potent surprise of an unforeseen meteor."

It has been known for a long time by psychologists that being fired is as difficult on the individual as a death in the family, divorce, or other traumatic, stress-producing situation.

And what goes deeper is what happens to the individual, and it's repercussions are long-lasting.

"Shame, fear, and panic can barge into a person's head after the initial trauma."

People have pointed out that in this Great Recession people who thought they were recession-proof are now

on the unemployment lines – in Philadelphia, as an example, a major law firm collapsed and closed. (And when I was selling investment real estate in the 80s and 90s, this was THE real estate law firm.)

Where Did The Dream Go?

I've often written about and created a video about The Dream – Where Did The Dream Go? It's gone for many people.

We were told to grow up, do well in school, select a major carefully, specialize, earn a good living, get married, raise 2.5 kids, help them grow well, get married, and the circle continues.

We did that, but things have come crashing down for many people.

Savings, Never Done Well By Most Americans, Evaporate

401(K) accounts are half what they were only 8 months ago. A friend say he now has a 201(K) and my good friend Neil Radisch (with whom I wrote "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" as a major musical) wrote me on Facebook that he now has a 4.01(K).

I know the pain there, with my own IRA dropping 50%.

The Dream may still linger, but the funds to make it happen are gone. (For now, at least.)

Personal Memories Never Die

The reason I started this website (and the business to support it) was because of the terrible crushing pain that many people feel when they are fired. I want to help.

Having faced it twice myself, I know the lasting, deep-seeded pain that lingers.

I still have images of my younger daughter, while she was in middle school, crying with covers pulled up over her head when I arrived home having been fired and saying, "They stole your dream, Daddy."

That's the last time I worked for someone else.

Oh, sure… being a Work at Home Dad has it's tough parts too, but never again will my family suffer like that.

Shame, Pain, And The Lasting Upset Of Being Fired

This part of The Inquirer's article really got to me… a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I read it because I've been there and understand the pain of both the child and the parent.

"One recent day, he [Dan Perry, the subject of much of the article] stalked the rooms of his modest house decorated with family photos, no kids or wife about. 'It's eerie, weird,' he said. 'I'm used to hubbub. It's just a house, not a home, when I'm here alone in the day.'"

That will change… at least it has for me. In fact, I thrive being here by myself for most of the day.

"One evening not long ago, Perry say his daughter, Rebekah, 16, typing up the lesson plans of her advanced-placement history teacher.

"'What's this?' he asked.

"'I'm typing her notes for $80,' Rebekah said.

"That was the price of a class trip to Washington. Rebekah knew her father had lost his job and was loath to ask for money. So she asked her teacher for some work.

"Later that night, Perry lay awake in bed at 4 AM, the small and desperate hour when, many unemployed people report, they are alert and anguished. He contemplated Rebekah and the $80.

"'My heart was heavy with sadness for how my daughter was regarding this,' Perry said. Children's reactions are often profound."

And believe me, they never forget the pain of seeing their hero, their leader, their rock and support suffering.

"Perry cannot not worry. 'At night, I go to this secret place in my soul, and it's like I'm standing in front of a mirror alone. I have no one to hold to account but myself. And I look at myself and ask, 'What am I going to do?' There's a mortgage and cars and other things to be paid, and no one's hiring. How am I going to help my family?'"

Men Often See Themselves AS Their Jobs

Men and women look at this situation very differently, with us men basing much of our self-image on our jobs.

I remember in the very early 1990s having had a nightmare that woke me up in a cold sweat. I dreamed that I would no longer be a Vice President of Jackson-Cross Company (then a huge commercial real estate brokerage firm in Philadelphia, where I sold $247,368,657.97 of Investment Real Estate and marketed more than $1 billion for others in the first as the company's VP of Marketing and Planning). I'd been there for 13 years, done very well, was respected throughout the industry as a top salesman, but my mind was already playing games with me as the economy was rocked at that time, though not as much as now.

I wasn't fired, I went to work for myself. And I had been doing most of the work from home already (since 1983 when Liz was born). But the self-image was rocked and my whole body knew it.

The Only Way To Get Through This Is Together

Those who survive times like this find help in others. Others who have been through it. Others who can steer them in the right direction for new job skills. Others who are supportive, upbeat, have the energy for two people… since the fired person has lost much of the energy needed to prosper.

Mastermind groups. Small business support groups. And yes, even a group like the one found here on UltimateWorkAtHomeDads.com where we support Dads now working at home (or looking to work from home).

We're here. We hope you'll let us know how we can help.

And though we can't erase the burned-in images and the pain caused by your being fired, we're here to get you back on your feet as quickly as possible and make the transition to working from home a smooth one.

If this information resonated with you, perhaps this short video will too: Where Did The Dream Go?

The Dream? It changed. And now it's time for YOU to change and come up with a new Dream.

And we're ready to help.

Best,

Charlie Seymour Jr
A Work At Home Dad, succeeding in this economy

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Sharing With My Mastermind Group, I Want To Be Sure To Share With You Too

Thought I'd follow up about Bit.ly since I'm using it extensively and it has taken me a while to figure it out.

1. Did you see that TweetLater is now using Bit.ly? Nice endorsement for this sweet F*R*E*E product that shortens your links AND lets you track the results!

2. I was confused about HOW I could FIND the metrics once I shortened a link and used it in Tweets, blog posts, etc. Then I discovered the SEARCH capabilities – if you put your Bit.ly link in the Search box and press Enter, you get the graphs of how well you've done. HOWEVER, that is only what has been done on TWITTER. Still good info, but not all the info I want.

3. THEN… probing further, I found out how to find ALL the results. Just add a "+" after the link and you get all the info. Really sweet.

For instance, if you click http://bit.ly/me7q, you go to my Lead Generation Video on Lead Generation. (It's a Lead Gen free giveaway magnet designed to show people some of my knowledge and trade this 68 minutes of jammed-packed info for their name and email address.)

HOWEVER if you click http://bit.ly/me7q+ (notice the "+" at the end), you go to the page of all the metrics. And they can be VERY helpful.

I used to use Ad Trackers in 1ShoppingCart all the time so that I could see how well my campaigns were doing. HOWEVER, when 1SC would screw up, not work properly, fight with Comcast (my ISP) and blacklist a whole section of the US (which I used to discover even when even they didn't know it had happened), I couldn't find any metrics AND my site would shut down because my links wouldn't work. I'm hoping that Bit.ly (without the possibility of email blacklisting since it doesn't send emails for people) will be much more reliable.

Now… how do you know what your Bit.ly link is when you have HUNDREDS or THOUSANDS (as I now do)?

Let's face it, not everything you post to the web, Twitter, a blog needs to be tracked – you'd be drowning in follow-links and never be able to find any of them.

I just want to find important links that I want to keep track of (like who goes to my blog posts, my Ezine, my offer of great products I've discovered): I just keep a simple Notepad file open and keep those important links list there. I keep them in blocks by category (like Charlie's Blog, Ezine, LizSeymour.com, etc) and then list the Bit.ly link, the full link, and a note about it. Like this:

http://bit.ly/10UEzs – Marketing Power – Stand Out To Shine and Think Big (created April 23, 2009)

Well… that's it for now! Hope after reading all of this you learned a bit (or is that you "learned a Bit.ly")!

Best,

Charlie Seymour Jr
A Work At Home Dad, succeeding in this economy

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Marketing Power – A Good Theater Background Helps!

I was six and it was my first theatrical production. OK, so I sat quietly licking a lollipop in one courtroom scene at the local Little Theater, but I must have done something right because they asked me back year after year and I went on to create a musical theater group at Tufts University (Torn Ticket, now with the name Torn Ticket II) and worked professionally in theater after earning my MBA from Wharton Graduate of the University of Pennsylvania.

Theater – that team sport of people in the spotlight. And whether directing or acting, it taught me some very important lessons that I use in my marketing today.

Sing Out, Louise

That classic line from the Broadway Musical, Gypsy, is instructive for all of us:

You must stand out for people to notice you!

Have you ever taken the Sunday newspaper (well, it's like that here in the USA) and flipped to the real estate section. Squint a little so it goes out of focus and what do you see?

Nothing.

Everything is exactly the same. It's as if no one wants to stand out and get noticed. It's just a blur of black and white with no stars singing out.

If you make a presentation along with other people; if you give your 30-second "Elevator Speech" of introduction at a business meeting; if you make a proposal to earn some local business and you look like everyone else you will get what everyone else gets: normal results.

Normal. The norm. Average.

And who the heck wants THAT?

Timid you say? Then ACT the part of someone who is not.

Hey, I really don't care that Donald Trump jumped all over one of his Apprentice candidates who said something like "fake it" until she was ready to make it.

Create a character for yourself if you are timid. LIVE through that character. Hey, be true to yourself in what you do and the ethics that guide you, but to blend in, to be a wallflower, to get no attention means you'll get no business.

How Do You Stand Out From The Other Marketers

Dare to be different.

If everyone is presenting his/her Elevator Speech and starting off (as way too many people do) by stating their full name and company (as if anyone cares until they learn something about you), start off with a question!

"Do you know how people visit a website and give their name and email address when they feel they can like and trust the person who owns the site, well… I create such websites. My name is…"

Try it.

See how a question engages your audience (even a very small audience). People stop listening when other people drone on, but asking a question connects with their ear and brain and gets them to pay attention.

And before you even open your mouth, know what outcome you want to achieve. WHAT do you want people to know about you.

STOP…. OK, so you can tell them your life story and bore them.

Don't.

Select one or two main points and present yourself in an exciting way. Just as if you were writing a novel and describing the main character, that attractive, talented, clever person that you are!

Are You Saying I Have To Be Entertaining?

I didn't say it because YOU already thought it.

Yes. Entertain, educate, inform, question.

And do it through the persona of the character you want your prospects to see.

What do you want them to remember about you? How do you sound? What words do you choose?

And never waste any opportunity, because you don't know when you'll get another one.

Were You Ever Told To Fit In?

Did you use to work at a corporation where they told you to "fit in"? Be like everyone else? Tone it down a bit?

Those days are over for us entrepreneurs. People must remember us or they'll never call again.

So if you left the Rat Race of the corporate world, don't jump right back into it by mirroring all the things you used to do and didn't like!

Take some risks. Find the kind of work you love and make money with it. Don't set up a corporation, get yourself an office, parade around the same way you used to when someone else was calling all the shots.

When you make it as a successful entrepreneur, you'll do so because you left those old habits behind and took the road less traveled… the path in the wood you've always wanted to take.

And Think Big

Have you ever seen someone accomplish Big Goals by thinking small?

How do you grow your business to a million dollars a year if you are just starting out? I can assure you thank thinking small, thinking incrementally will NOT work.

Think Big. Think multiples, exponential growth. Dream, Plan, Scheme and always think, "What is next."

No billionaire ever achieved success by doing things the way everyone else did things, right?

Think through what you want to accomplish, make your own road map of how you will get there, and then let no one stand in your way.

Share your ideas, your goals, your vision with trusted advisers. Mastermind with people smarter and more experienced than you are (that is IF they will have you – they, too, want people smarter and better than they are).

It's been said that we are the average of the five people we spend most time with – is it time to break away from your comfortable friends and seek others who will stretch your thinking?

Get moving. You won't achieve your goals at the dining room table, on the couch, in front of the TV. Forget those who say "it's easy" to do all of this and know that Nike has it right: Just DO It.

Focus, Focus, Focus. Do one thing REALLY well and get known for it. (I admit I don't do well with this one: there are SO many things I enjoy doing and have abilities to accomplish. But you must get people to think YOUR NAME when they have a need.)

Create a name for yourself like this: Charlie the ______________. Make it short and sweet. If you can define yourself this way, others will be able to do that too. If you CAN'T, neither can they.

Like Charlie the Social Marketer. Charlie the Photographer. Charlie the Marketing-Success Coach.

Charlie the guy who does marketing for individuals, corporations, and nonprofits will NOT get me noticed and remembered. See what I mean.

And then select the best "title" depending on the circumstances.

If you are great at copy writing, web marketing, and photography, choose which label you will use depending on the audience to which you are speaking.

And then NEVER give up.

It's ALL In Your Attitude

Your mindset – THAT is what is most important about the way you project yourself and deal with difficulties and assignments not gained.

Some people, if they don't get that next, prized assignment, feel they have failed. Others take it as feedback and learn from what they just went through (and are back "at it" as soon as they can be).

So… stand out; create the character you want to project; dream, plan, scheme about what you want to achieve; and then let nothing stand in your way.

And I'll see YOU at the top!

Best,

Charlie Seymour Jr
A Work At Home Dad, succeeding in this economy

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Opportunities Abound For Work At Home Dads, Even In THIS Economy!

How often do we have to hear it from or read it in the news? The economy is the worst since our parents (and for some of us it's our parents' parents) were young. It's really awful.

All indicators are down. My personal retirement fund has shrunk by about 50%. Unemployment is rising (about 6.5% in my county), and if it hasn't touched your family, you KNOW a family it has struck.

What do they say: it's a Recession when your neighbor loses his job: it's a DEPRESSION with YOU lose your job! It sure feels that way! (Seems to me the only time you feel worse is when everyone tells you that the economy is GREAT but you just lost your job – that happened to me once and that feeling is burned into my brain and heart, still searing my insides.)

And the effect ripples through our town, county, state, country, and world. You can't escape that we're part of a SYSTEM, not a series of individuals. Someone losing a job in Maine doesn't buy as many groceries so the farmer in Texas doesn't plant as man crops and the family in California has to pay more. And on and on and on.

And Bernie Madoff can only account for about $67 Billion of this, so there are many other factors at work.

And when I was a kid, I remember my Dad talking about the economy (he later ran a major real estate firm and was on the Board of the Philadelphia Fed… so he had learned a thing or two).

And if there was one major lesson I learned from him it's that OPPORTUNITY is just as great in any part of the cycle (for indeed, economies are cyclical).

So… that means that there are opportunities abounding right now.

And if you follow Internet Marketing (especially Information Product Marketing), perhaps you just witnessed Frank Kern (one of the really good guys) sell more than $4,000,000 worth of CDs and booklets, teaching people how to succeed in today's economy. And this was in about 26 hours.

But For Many, Where Did The Dream Go?

But for people watching their 401(k)s being drained or their IRAs tumble, it certainly must feel like the sky has fallen. And if you're sitting at home instead of going into that job in an office, store, warehouse, or factory, the pain can be intense.

Or Perhaps You've Been Saying, Take Me From The Rat Race

Or, perhaps you still have a job but are nervous that you might be next to go. Here in the Philadelphia, PA USA area, apartment developer Steve Korman has pleaded with companies (many of which he owns stock in) to remember that firing people leads to more firing. He'd like to see a corporation earn less, but keep all of its people working.

Not many corporations share his thoughts.

Or, You're Already Working At Home And Think, How Can I Turbo Charge My Work At Home

You know how it is to have the freedom of working from home. No commute. No expensive lunches out. No boring meetings that take up so much of your time.

But with the way the economy is now, you really need some help to turbo charge your results. Going back to an office job just isn't in the cards for you, even if the economy had any jobs available.

I've Been There Too

As a Work At Home Dad since 1991 (longer, really, since from 1977 – 1991, I sold $247,368,657.97 worth of Investment Real Estate and though I worked for a large real estate firm, I did much of my work from home), I recognize each of these stories… and each of the opportunities they bring.

Oh, it may not FEEL like an opportunity when you're faced with being fired or the potential of a layoff, but it can be.

So, I've dedicated myself (with the help of some of my very smart friends) to help Work At Home Dads.

Dads Have Been Forgotten – But NO MORE!

When you search the Internet, there are all kinds of opportunities for Stay At Home Moms, but the Dads have been forgotten. And with the economy the way it is, we Dads can use all the help we can get. It's said that 82% of all the recent layoffs were to men!

I have created several family-centric sites (RaisingGreatFamilies.com, ILearnedItAllFromMyKids.com, FathersAndTheDaughtersTheyLove.com among them) and my professional photography business was all related to families (Family Portraits, Weddings, Bat and Bar Mitzvahs, Theater).

Over the next few months, I will openly share information to help Work At Home Dads. The site just starting, so be sure to enter your name and email address and I'll be sure to let you know when those resources are available.

Time We Banded Together, Men: Form Our Own Mastermind Group!

There's nothing like the power of when creative and hard-working men join together. Hey, not being sexist – my wife would smack me if I did that (to say nothing about my two successful daughters), but it's time for us men to band together to make the family economy work for each of us.

I look forward to hearing from you – hearing your ideas, your greatest concerns about working from home, hearing about some of the solutions you have come up with. Let's share this information to help all of us.

Best,

Charlie Seymour Jr
A Work At Home Dad, succeeding in this economy

Friends, if you like this post, please leave a comment and retweet it. And I've made it easy – just click on the icon below. Thanks!

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