The Fourth Key: Relationships – The Failing Relationship And What To Do About It
I loved this analogy when I first heard it… the amount of time "left" on this earth is only illustrative for this story and doesn't matter what your actual time is left.
Let's say you're 50 years old and life expectancy is 78 for you. (Again, please don't let the numbers pain you… this is just for illustration).
That leaves 28 years.
If you subtract about 33% for eating, sleeping, and using the bathroom, that leaves you 18.75 years left to do what you want.
Now seriously: how much of that time do you want to WASTE with difficult clients who don't respect you!?
When we look at life like THAT, doesn't it become clear what we need to do with a difficult client?
If speaking directly (I always told my kids to be "firm but polite") doesn't improve the relationship you and your client have, then you need to FIRE your client.
Yup – it's that simple.
I'm always amazed when I hear business owners say, "But MY clients won't pay that much" or "My clients won't like that…"
Well… YOU selected those clients (let's face it, YOU are the one who agreed to work with them!) and YOU are the one who has to decide YES or NO when it comes to continuing to work with them.
See what I mean?
Life is WAY too short to work with people who cause lots of problems for you.
And your business needs your attention on the clients who will make you the most money, NOT the ones who will cause you the most heartache.
So if a relationship is failing, Move On! Be grateful for what you had and then Move On.
Life will be SO much better when you do.
And now – leave me a comment here to tell me what YOU feel about this!
More on 074 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships – 1. Natural Affinity
The Fourth Key: Relationships – Avoid The Fickle
If you were searching for a spouse, how seriously would you look at someone who had been married many times over?
Hey, Pam and I have been married for more than 28 years and SHE was married once before. That's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about someone who is famous for being married over and over and over again.
I'll guess your answer will be "not very seriously!"
So… why are you interested in a client who keeps shifting people to work with?
Do you really want to set this person as a priority when it's likely that you will only be a short term interest?
Do you want to invest lots of time with someone whose track record indicates that he/she won't be around very long?
Do you really want to build your career on the shoulders of someone who won't be with you very long and probably won't tell others to use you?
If when you ask a prospect who he/she worked with last and you get a response that doesn't sit well in your stomach, move on. Things will only get worse with time.
Look for loyal PEOPLE to find loyal CLIENTS.
And build your business around them!
More on 073 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships – 1. Natural Affinity
When You See Someone Doing Something RIGHT: Tell People
So why am I writing about one of my doctors in a marketing/social marketing website?
Because his marketing and customer service is THAT good.
Meet Dr. Neal E. Bozentka, Oral Surgeon
Unfortunately I've needed Dr. Bozentka's services three times already.
As a kid I brushed my teeth regularly and as an adult I floss and use a stimulator every day and brush twice every day.
But even so, I've had some root canals and then some teeth drying out and needing extraction.
Dr. Bozentka does that for me.
He has his own practice in Swarthmore, PA USA and seems to be the "go to guy" for many general dentists in the area, including mine.
Learn About Customer Service From What He Does
So other than technical competence, why is he so good?
1. He's a nice guy. He takes time with his patients. We're glad to see him and he shares his personality with us so we're totally comfortable with him.
2. Two days before my appointment, I get a phone call from his office reminding me about my appointment AND reminding me about eating or not eating for 12 hours (depending on the type of anesthetic I've been told I will get). Nice, timely reminder… let's me know they are thinking about me.
3. His staff is really nice (and believe me, it starts from the top down – I've seen some staffs in "professional" offices that would scare a bouncer at an inner city bar). They are MORE than just cordial – as I sat in the waiting room, I could tell that on the phone and in person they really care about the people they work with and the patients who visit Dr. Bozentka.
4. His in-room staff are supportive and caring. When our blood pressure rises the most (you know… when the doctor comes at us with local anesthetic needles), his staff is right there reassuring us. And they chat with you when setting you up (you know: the bib and all that!). And I've gotten to know a couple of them (OK: so I've been there TOO often!), and they can joke around with me and put me totally at ease.
5. This is the ONLY professional office I have even been to where they tell me UP FRONT (even when I make the appointment) how much the procedure will cost. Hey, this is serious work that takes a great deal of training to be sure it's done well (and Dr. Bozenka's work is really great), and he deserves what he's paid… especially when I feel NOTHING during a tooth extraction and very little discomfort even after the local anesthetic has worn off. It's great to know going-in what it will cost me (and there are never any hidden costs – everything is laid out up front).
6. And if THAT weren't enough, early the morning after my most recent tooth removal, Dr. Bozentka called to see that I was doing ok (I was out on my AM walk, but he left a very nice voice mail). He expressed his concern and assured me that I could call him if I needed him. This wasn't a prerecorded message aimed at the whole world, this was a personal call from my doctor. When the hell has THAT happened to me before!??
How Is YOUR Customer Service
Don't we ALL want Raving Fans telling the world about the service we provide (the way I am telling YOU about Dr. Bozentka)?
Don't we ALL want to be recognized for professional excellence AND great caring for the people we serve?
Don't we ALL want our customers, clients, and patients to be MUCH better off after working with us?
And I have to tell you, this guy (and his terrific staff) makes it look EASY! He's not working hard to make you happy or show you the respect you deserve or make you feel comfortable in his office (and in his chair): that's just the way things are.
A tip of the hat to Dr. Neal E. Bozentka!
I teased him that I'm sorry that I've gotten to know him so well over the past few years – I wish he did some other kind of work (because I really hate losing my teeth!). But if I have to have this work done, I'm sure glad it's by Dr. Bozentka!
More on Outstanding Customer Service – Look To Dr. Neal E. Bozentka
The Fourth Key: Relationships – Avoid Blind Dates
Have you ever been on a blind date?
I had to think long and hard about this one – I don't think I ever went on one.
You know the type: when a friend thinks another friend is just PERFECT for you and invites both of you to spend some time together.
Neither of you knew about the other, neither had spent much time learning about the other because some external force (this time a friend) brought you together.
We NORMALLY think that a referral is the BEST kind of external relationship builder we can find… but be careful.
Someone looking you up in a directory, yellow pages, or finding your name in Google may be the LEAST loyal type of customer to have.
Have YOU ever looked someone up in the Yellow Pages? For ME, it's been a few years and I had one of the happiest experiences I've ever had with someone doing work for me (this company replaced a garage door opener when I wasn't even there and couldn't sign a credit card slip for them. Believe me, I have recommended them to LOTS of people since then).
But I've never hired a professional to work with me just from a directory or yellow pages. Never hired an attorney, accountant, doctor, or dentist that way.
And really – is that how YOU want to be hired?
If they can find someone else (needing only an ad to get them started), will they stay with YOU?
My Wife The Coupon Cutter
My wife LOVES to clip coupons out of those newspaper circulars. She sees what is new, sees what prices are being asked, and sees how much she can save when using the coupon.
Sometimes I think it's just relaxing therapy for her.
But then she's one of the LEAST loyal customers any of these products can have. When she sees a coupon for a NEW product… snip, snip, snip and she's off to use the NEW product.
Is that how you want people finding and working with you?
I doubt it.
So find ways to let your story out (like a blog like this) so that they come to you NOT for the price but because of your tremendous level of service.
And when they learn more about you, they will stay with you.
But EARN that respect with everything you do – it really is THAT important to your business's success.
PS: So… HAVE you been on a blind date? Tell me about it in the comment space, ok?
More on 072 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships – 1. Natural Affinity
The Third Key: Relationships – Intro
You know the old expression: Birds of a feather flock together.
We often say in marketing that People want to work with people they like; People like people who are like themselves.
Look at communities where people live – there is seldom a bright orange house in the middle of all the earth tones. Or a GIGANTIC house in the middle of tract houses. OR a huge swimming pool in the midst of NO pools.
There are often communities of Irish, Italians, Afro-Americans; Catholics, Jews, Protestants, Muslims.
Humans flock together just as the birds do… and we often overlook that.
So when looking for the best new clients, ask your friends, ask those professionals who work with you, talk with your neighbors: and then find people who are like YOU to do business with.
They will like you best and you will like THEM best.
You'll understand each other, be "simpatico," have much in common.
Look for those with whom you share many thoughts, desires, philosophical outlooks, and economic desires and you'll find the easiest people to work with.
In other words: Look For Yourself and then work with people like you.
You'll all be happier.
More on 071 The Invisible Touch – The Eight Keys to Lasting Relationships – 1. Natural Affinity
The Third Key: Relationships
Tom Peters, the well-known sales adviser, is often quoted, often read, and usually ignored.
Perhaps because of this he went mad several years ago.
People listened, they read, they ignored… not exactly what a coach, adviser, a guru wants to have happen.
Get Them Off The Raft Marketing
I often talk about a type of marketing (which I coined) called Get Them Off The Raft Marketing.
You're on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean and come upon a man on a raft.
He's blister upon blister. Lips are cracked. He can hardly see.
He's delirious.
You call down over the side of the ship, "Come on… get off the raft and come onto the ship" and he says……… "no."
Now: how much of your time and energy do you expend getting him OFF the raft and ONTO the ship because YOU know it's better for him?
Oh, we can have him committed because he's crazy.
(We may have some customers and clients we'd LIKE to have committed because they are crazy!)
But what we find is that WE have to change.
So many of our clients and customers would rather stay adrift in the middle of the ocean of uncertainty KNOWING that what they are doing ISN'T working, than they would like to get off the raft and come onto our ship to do something new.
So WE have to change what we say.
We can't PREACH them off the raft. We can't berate them off the raft. We can't even JOKE with them to get them off the raft.
No.
We must find the language that means the most to THEM to help them see why they must get off the raft and onto our ships.
Or Tom Peters will remain Mad.
Not only must we teach HOW to create better marketing, we must find a way to make sure our clients IMPLEMENT the changes we suggest.
Only THEN will their marketing improve.
Only THEN will they improve their bottom lines.
Only THEN will Tom Peters (and the rest of us) see that what we tell people has actually HELPED people.
And THAT's why we do it! To help them.
Ten Ingredients To Your Success
Success in business isn't a magic spell you can learn at Hogwarts nor a secret that's passed down among the world's elite.
Success is a recipe that has a few proven ingredients. When you mix those ingredients with love, thought, and care, you'll create something that will nourish you and your family for years to come.
Here Are Some Of The Ingredients I Find Important In The Recipe For Success
1. Happy Customers and Clients. Yep, that's the number one ingredient that successful businesspeople have in their entrepreneurial cupboard.
No matter what service you provide, it's all about the customer. If the customer isn't happy, she might not be back to buy another record, designer handbag, case of wine, your marketing service, or your web design service.
Whatever you do in your business, you should always think about the customer. Each and every action you take should be geared toward providing the best customer service possible.
Imagine yourself as your customer and visualize how you'd like to be treated. Use that as a beginning to establish your business's service guidelines.
One other thing to consider: if you don't know who you're selling to, you can't market properly. And if you can't market to the right audience, the folks you do reach probably won't have much interest in your product or service. Know who you're selling to so you can reach the places where they hang out.
2. Results. People expect things quickly these days.
Our attention span isn't what it used to be (darn all those TV commercials with 27 edits for each 30 second commercial!), so when customers come to you with questions, you've got to be Johnny-on-the-Spot with answers.
When they call with orders, you'd better have the product to them yesterday or they will go to someone who can get them what they want when they want it.
If you always have answers and products/services for customers/clients, you'll become the go-to-person, something money just can't buy.
3. Follow up. Part of keeping your customers happy is following up on an order, especially if there's some sort of snafu.
(Let’s face it – no matter how hard you try, no matter how conscientious you are, SOMETHING will go wrong at times.)
As a customer, it makes me smile when I get a call or email asking if I've received the order and if I'm happy with the product. This will only take a couple of minutes on your part, but will do wonders for your reputation.
Now, when your business really gets cooking and you've got dozens or hundreds of orders to follow up on every day, you might need to consider getting some help. But isn't that a great “problem” to have?
(And for those of us working online, drop-shipment houses and auto-responders help immensely!)
4. Reputation. Your reputation is something that will grow when the first three ingredients are blended successfully.
This might take a little time, but it’s well worth the effort. A good reputation is crucial to any successful business endeavor.
(Hey, if anyone has ever talked to you about “branding” then THIS is branding – earn a stellar reputation and keep it!)
More on Successful Entrepreneur – Recipe For Success
The Third Key: Relationships
Even before I read this section of Harry Beckwith's Book, The Invisible Touch, I was a strong believer in firing some clients.
I can't be all things to all people, and if I'm working with the wrong client, no matter HOW much he/she will pay me, my business will suffer.
Turn Down Service Projects When You Need To
One thing I got very good at was saying "No."
Not many people are, I have found (usually they hem and haw when asked and really have little idea about whether or not a certain project is a good "fit" for them).
"Let me tell you why I can't serve on your committee" or "Let me tell you why I can't take on that project with you" has to be said in the first FIVE seconds of the conversation when it's my turn to speak.
Often I have been called by community or church committees. When I WANTED to accept the post and would enjoy serving (because I strongly believed in the project AND felt I could do a great job), I would accept quickly.
When I felt that the goals of the committee weren't in line with my passions and strengths OR felt that service would take up valuable time that I needed for other projects, I was just as quick to turn down the request.
And I have found that the words "Let me tell you why I can't…" get the attention of the person serving me with the invitation and by the time I'm finished, he or she completely understands that I was looking out for his or her best interests as well as my own.
Refuse Business BEFORE It Hurts You
Here's an example of a project I just turned down.
The person asking me heads up several well-run and well-attended Meetup Groups in our area. He's great at running the meetings, makes sure everyone gets a chance to speak, and wholeheartedly wants each of us to succeed when we join him at a meeting.
A few weeks ago he asked me to do a demonstration about HOW to create small videos for online. I recorded my presentation and asked a member of the "audience" to join me so that we could create a new video for my Facebook profile.
The presentation went really well and the group really enjoyed it (or so several of the members commented to me).
And because I did it, I was better known… though perhaps for the wrong reason.
The organizer then called me on the phone and asked me to work on a good-sized video project with him.
I didn't want to say "no" to HIM because of his position with these important Meetup groups, but I just didn't feel that his project was the one I wanted to get involved with.
And his style of working and my style don't feel completely compatible, either… at least not for a project like this. He's a cut and dry, to the point engineer-type business owner and I'm much more right-brained, chatty, talk-it-out-together type.
His project is interesting, it would be FUN, but it would take me away from my main goal of writing here and preparing for a large project with my business partner, Dr. Marc Kossmann.
So today we had a conference call to go over his project and I told him early on that it just didn't fit with my timetable, workload, and scope of projects I need to be working on now.
I agreed to meet with him before an upcoming Meetup meeting to offer any advice that I could, but I just couldn't take on the project at this time.
He understood.
And I admitted openly to him that one of my problems is that I want to work on ALL the interesting projects that come my way but that I really have to say "no" when they don't fit my ever-narrowing definition of what I should be working on.
Would HE have been a "Bad Client"? I'm not sure… but the PROJECT would have been a bad FIT for me at this time, which means that I would not be able to serve him best.
Either way, it was important to push away and not accept this project.
Have YOU learned how to do that?
Leave me some comments about how YOU turn down business when you know it won't be right for you.
More on 069 The Invisible Touch – The Curse of the Bad Client
The Third Key: Relationships
I often describe my attendance at a marketing group meeting as "my oasis" in my month of work.
It's MY place; MY getaway; MY group of friends who speak a common language, understand the pressures I'm under as a Successful Entrepreneur, and who are open to sharing ideas, goals, and achievements.
Like the TV show, Cheers, it's a place "where everybody knows your name."
Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida USA the ULTIMATE Oasis
Harry Beckwith writes about Walt Disney World as an oasis, and what a great example it is.
Disneyland in California, USA was plunked down in the middle of a busy area and immediately all kinds of other retail and hotel properties sprung up.
Walt Disney couldn't control the look, the feel, the atmosphere around Disneyland because he didn't control the whole Oasis.
But in Florida it's different.
As a student of real estate transactions (I sold $247,368,657.97 worth of Investment Real Estate during my career and helped market more than $1 Billion as the head of marketing for Jackson-Cross Company in Philadelphia, PA USA), I was fascinated by the way Walt and his team purchased so much land.
Land for hotels, roads, monorail. Land for The Magic Kingdom and all the other park areas.
It is said that all of Disneyland can fit in the parking lot for The Magic Kingdom and still have room for 1,000 cars.
Yep – it's THAT big.
And there's room to continue developing for decades.
But more important than the size of all of it, and that you can see NOTHING else but Walt Disney World properties when you are inside of the thousands of acres, is the point that Walt Disney controlled how you THINK within his park.
You enjoy the Oasis and forget about the outside world.
You're on vacation, so spending is loosened up. Things cost most but you go with the flow because "it's a vacation." That might not work as well if the outside world were right within your sight.
Control The Atmosphere, Control The Oasis
And think about this for YOUR business.
No… you won't purchase all the stores around you or take up all the location on the Internet near your website nor will you be the only one in your marketplace.
But when you can control what people see, hear, taste, feel, smell when dealing with you AND you can make them feel important (just as they do at Walt Disney World and in the Cheers restaurant where they know your name), you will have built your own Oasis.
Make people feel important, give them what they want, and they will continue to come back to you.
It's like at your favorite club or restaurant where you order "the usual" drink and they know… they know WHO you are and WHAT you want. It's your favorite drink, and they KNOW that!
Get that way with your clients and they will LOVE you… and do business with you over and over again.
It's THAT important!
The Third Key: Relationships
When was the last time that someone from a business you are working with sent you a thank you note? Or a note like "the shipment is delayed and I'll keep you informed"? Or even "thanks for purchasing from us"?
I used to make it a practice to send a basket of "cheer" (usually cookies in a designer basket) around Thanksgiving to tell my clients how much I appreciated them.
One year I sent those Photo Stamps to my family portrait, wedding, and Bar Mitzvah clients as a special "thank you."
And each of them told at least one other prospect about me because of it.
I DID it because I was grateful for their business… but the added benefit of their telling others about me was great.
Each was made to feel as important to me as he or she really was.
How Do You Feel When Getting A Birthday Card?
How do you feel when someone remembers you?
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Remember how great it feels when someone you haven't heard from in a while tells you that he or she was thinking about you?
Or a friend goes out of her way to help you with something.
Or a loved one brings you a gift just because you were being thought about.
How do you feel when a birthday card arrives in the mail? Are you happy to be the center of someone's attention (at least for the amount of time it took to buy and send a card)?
THAT is how your clients feel when you make them feel important.
My buddy, Ben Stucker, got some note cards printed – they fit neatly into a #10 envelope. They have his name, address, phone on it and it includes the same photo that he uses in his Facebook profile.
When he's thinking about someone, he jots a handwritten note and then addresses an envelope. Heck, if he spends just 15 minutes a day, he will make this personal touch to at least 600 persons a year – and how many can YOU say YOU are touching this way (believe me, I'm looking at myself when I say that too).
Remember to treat all your clients and customers the way you'd treat a personal friend and you will go MILES toward improving your close working relationship with them.
More on 067 The Invisible Touch – The Importance of Importance
The Third Key: Relationships
One lesson I learned a long time ago is that getting someone to do something I want him/her to do will NOT be aided by my taking out a hammer and hitting him/her over the head.
I must build rapport. The other person and I must be in sync, feeling similar things, almost breathing in rhythm with each other.
Be Ready To Step Away If Things Don't Go Well
Several times in my real estate career, where I had $247,368,657.97 in personal sales and more than $1 Billion through my marketing leadership skills, I had to be ready to push away from the negotiating table if the deal were not the best for my client.
Transactions at these tables could pay off my mortgage, allow me to buy a new car, or pay for my children education. The financial pressures could have been HUGE, but I learned to control my emotions.
But NOT ONE of them would have been helped if I took out a hammer, started screaming, telling people that they needed to get the deal done so I could be paid.
The people buying and selling couldn't have cared less about MY needs – they only cared about theirs!
And let's face it: having a feeling that I was CONQUERING either side of the negotiations instead of CARING about them and helping them… that wouldn't have helped either.
Listen To Yourself When Selling
The other night at a Meetup meeting for entrepreneurs, one of the young members (who had worked for others but was new to having his own business) expressed how difficult it was for him to sell.
He felt a great need to help his client and never wanted to force anything on him or her.
He needed to sleep at night knowing he had done the best possible for his client, so he could never be manipulative.
He couldn't negotiate a price for his fees – if someone didn't like his fee, he felt hopeless since he did not want to force himself onto his client
Whether or not this young person has a problem, he just doesn't understand sales.
He's probably had some pushy salespeople push him into a corner before and he felt ill-at-ease telling the salesperson to Stop.
But, I suggested, if you start every conversation with a client like this, it will help you immensely:
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My Job is to find out what YOU want, and then help you get it. Period.
You are forcing NOTHING onto that person. You are LISTENING, building rapport, and then figuring out what that person needs most… and helping him/her get it.
Sales is SO much easier when approached from your being on the SAME side of the table as your client, rather than the swift-talking huckster who talks a mile a minute while singing the praises of a product he has NO idea will fit the customer.
I applaud this young business owner's ideals, but know that with a little bit of practice, he'll become very comfortable saying "My Job is to find out what YOU want, and then help you get it."
Once on THAT side of the table, he and his client will become partners and life will go MUCH more smoothly.
The Third Key: Relationships
Relationship building – perhaps if we knew how important it would be to our careers, we'd have played better in the sandbox and during Four Squares in elementary school.
Instead, we studied math and economics and music and languages.
Do you realize that we spend nearly 12 years of school learning how to WRITE and less than 1 year learning how to LISTEN?
ynd since most of our communication is done by speaking and listening (heck, the only way we LEARN from others is to listen to them – REALLY listen to them), somehow most of us missed some important education.
Business Schools vs Other Education
After my undergraduate education at Tufts University outside of Boston, MA USA, I earned an MBA from the Wharton Graduate Division of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA USA.
Marketing, advertising, arts management, business law… but NOTHING on relationship building or listening.
However, when I earned my CCIM real estate designation, 20% of the course work was on relationship building, working with people, listening. It's the course I enjoyed the most. (Back in those days, I was the first in the Philadelphia area to earn a CCIM designation – Certified Commercial Investment Member: it's like the CLU for insurance people or the MAI for real estate appraisers. Others had been grandfathered-in, but I was the first to earn it.)
The designation helped me sell $247,368,657.97 of investment real estate… and as important as the investment, math, and law courses were, the one on working with people may have been the one to serve me the most.
But where in our 12 or 13 years of public or private schooling is anything like this taught?
Oh, sure… we get, "Now Johnny, talk nicer to Sally when you are coloring," but that really doesn't count. That's more behavior modification rather than skill building when it comes to working with others.
Most People Are Technicians, Not Entrepreneurs
Most people I know are technicians – plumbers, accountants, voice coaches, teachers, photographers. They got into their own business because they felt they could do better than the boss! Yet few are schooled in running businesses and even fewer are taught relationship-building.
Just look at their websites to see that they don't know what will interest others to pursue more. Just look at their emails that are curt and to the point, losing any possibility of building rapport.
And let's face it… no matter WHAT business we are in, we are all Sales People and all Relationship Builders.
So as we examine this more deeply, keep this in mind: People may forget what you do for them or what you purchased from them, but they sure will remember how you made them FEEL.
Business doesn't have to be cold, harsh, one-sided. Open up, build a relationship, and people will stick with you and purchase over and over again.
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